Out of boredom, I'm writing this.

Ever wondered how you would be like when you are old?

No, I don't mean physically. What I meant is how your life would be when you have son/daughter in-laws, grandkids and maybe great grandkids. If you are a nagging kinda person now, would you still be the same when you have a grandchild? If you are the stern parents, would you still raise your voice to your daughter in-laws?

Lately, I've always imagined how I'd be like when I grow older. Would I be loved by my grandkids? Will my DIL (Irfannya bini lerrrr) and I get along just fine, or vice versa? Hubby had always reminded me to be nice to everyone, especially to his parents lah. Sometimes I get cranky and can be a mean b*tch. I'd turn hateful and lash at anyone crossing my path. But hubby always reminded me that "what goes around comes around", and the saying has proved to be true in many circumstances, whether seen or experienced by me.

I used to be bitter and vengeful. My mum said so herself, and adviced me to get rid of that feeling as it'd only cause devastation in our life. I'm now in the process of improving myself, to be a better person than I used to be.

I don't want to have grandkids later and be resentful towards them. I don't want to give this grandkid everything and deprive another grandkid of love and attention just because I think his/her parents are being mean to me. I want to be able to let go. I don't want to be vengeful. And by doing so, I'd hope that my kids (even if they're all grown up, they'll still be my kids!) and grandkids would give my oldself some love and attention that I deserve, after bringing them into this world and raising them up. And if they don't, I want to be reminded that it's all in God's hand. I believe if I can be patient and nice, everything will works out well.

InsyaAllah.


P/S : No people, this is not a scene out of my life. It's just something that I've witnessed happening around me. :-D