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Cheating on the husband with HIS OWN FRIEND!

I've read some reviews in other mommies blogs about how they hate Maya's guts in the drama series AdaMaya currently playing on TV3. For those of you who haven't know, Maya is a married woman with a daughter, who cheats on her husband after 5 long years of marriage. Cheated on him with her ex.

Well,, I'm not gonna babble about the drama series. I'm just using it as a 'case study' to our 'discussion' today.  Cewah!! Apparently, whatever they're showing on TV depicts the real happenings of our society today.

A reader shared with me the story of her life. The real-happening in her family. I've seen and heard too many cases like this but still, the moment I finished reading her story, I was filled with shock and disbelief. How can a wife cheated on her husband with his OWN friend(s)? 

After the shock worn off, many things crossed my mind. How did the husband felt when he found out about it? What drives the lady in question to sleep with other man, in HIS (the husband's) house, with HIS own friends? Bukan satu, but plural, mind you!

Clearly, there's a lot of lesson to be learned from such things. First, like the old proverb goes "IKUT RASA BINASA". Perhaps the wife found the marriage didn't go the way she'd hoped it to be, and thus looked for an easy way out by having an affair. She might or might not realized that by doing so, she not only destroyed the trust and love the husband had for her, but also those of her kids. They would grow up  being accustomed to seeing their mother hooking up with different men and get used to that lifestyle. Sorry to pop your bubble, dear; but this is NOT Hollywood or Beverly Hills 90210 makcik oi! We're MUSLIMS, and what you did/still doing is so very not according to the teaching of our religion. You've destroyed your marriage, the trust your parents put on you, and now you're on the way to destroy your kids lives in so many ways that you could never imagine. YET. See, ikut rasa binasa tau!

Having said all that, I believe that love and marriage doesn't come cheap. You have to make a sacrifice in order to keep the love blossoming and the marriage thriving. Yes, you used to be so madly in love with one another despite not having to put in any effort at all. Why can't it be like that for the rest of your life?

Think of it this way. The beach will change every time the wave struck. Roses wither. People change. And so does marriage. I vividly remember while we were still courting, the husband suka sangat lah mengayat me with things like this "My love for you is not like a rose, as roses wither. My love is like the running river, it never stops flowing." Or something like that. Boleh tahan karat laki I okeh! Hahaha!

 But that's just the typical things people say to each other when they're head over heels in love. But love is like any other living thing. You need to feed it and take good care of it, in order for it to grow and thrive. You need to do things that are NOT routine. Once in while, you need to do things that will surprise them and rekindle the love the spouse has for you. Like slipping a love note into his pocket.

Or surprise your other half with their favourite things without them having to request it from you.

One of my fave thing is food!

Marriage needs to be shower with all these little things that might not seem like a big deal to outsiders, but means everything to each other.

I'm scared to think of what 5 years of marriage gonna be like for us. I even voice it out to the husband, but he told me not to worry. InsyaAllah, we'll be doing fine. InsyaAllah, we'll prevail. We've gone through 7 hard years of courting before we got to tie the knot. Thus we can go through anything, come what may.

But Dear Husband,

If you're reading this, and I know you will read it soon, I want you to know you're totally right about one thing. Love is indeed like a river. It keeps on running and flowing for a long time, until at some point when it meets up into a pool of stagnant water. Then it stops flowing. When that happens,  I believe we'll need to put in all the effort we can to purify it, in order to keep it fresh and 'alive'. 

Let's pray we'll get through our eternal love breezily. InsyaAllah!


  1. setuju.

    wahaha..note tu comel!

  2. love this entry sooo much..yelaa macam mane la isteri tu leh tergamak buat camtu marriage kena ade give n take..kalau tak puas hati..communicate la dengan baik..mane de bende semua indah2 je sepanjang masa.

  3. salam kenal... leh copy note tu ;)

  4. drama ini sungguh ngeri...ptut diletak rating ya...and cubala bagi detail cerita tu....bila start...camna buleh start...syiok ni

  5. thanks for sharing awww... i suka tengok pic u dengan yr husband tu sweet sangat... i perasan your new header sangat sangat cantik..

  6. eis : tulisan buruk kan, buat malu ja. hehehe

    farah : betul...kita yang kena make the effort to give and take kan.

    honeylanz : hahh sila copy copy. :-)

    anon : haippp! tak baik buka aib orang. cerita ni hanya untuk pengajaran. no details allowed :-p

    lady : thanks dear. header tu my cousin tolong buat, comel kan? :-)

  7. setuju setuju...
    bestnya tengok u n your husband...lovey dovey gitu :)
    and suka note comel tu ;-)

  8. i doakan u dgn hubby u sentiasa loving2 gitew... sweet the both of u.. cayalah!

  9. salam Bai, suka sgt the flow of this entry. The way u put in words of the need to 'feed' love and marriage.. very good reminder for all of us.

  10. zarin : thanks dear. u pun lovey dovey jugak. :-)

    fiza : thanks babe! i doa the same thing for u insyaAllah

    mila : yeah, good reminer for myself too. cuak gak tengok what's happening around us nowadays. takut jadi kat kita.

  11. sebab tu perkahwinan bukanlah satu permainan. bagi i more pada responsible, honestny and loyalty. sebab tu kena selalu berpegang kepada agama, Insyallah. Isteri tetap kena hormat pada suami selagi tidak disuruh melakukan yang dilarang dan suami juga harus hormati dan sayang kepada isteri. kita lihat sekeliling sebagai panduan untuk kita dan suami. i doakan u and family akan terus teguh and happy sampai bila-bila. take care dear :)

  12. good reminder for everyone .... i tgh ngamok with ali actually but after reading your entry terus tak jadik ngamuk ... thanks for saving my marriage ... ngeh ngeh ngeh ... ^_^

  13. hider : agreed! :-) thanks for ur doa.

    papakeechee : hahaha...gaduh laki bini biasa lah. it spices up the marriage. :-)



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