The day my life was turned upside down...

Abah...kesayangan semua.

I've been trying to gather some courage to write about this. About abah. He left us on 9/9/2013.The saddest day of my life. I never knew sorrow until the day he left. Tears are running down my cheek as I type this...

Abah...

The best father a child could ever asked for. He raised a big family with dignity. He tried to be fair to all of us, he did his best to make us happy. His wish was to have us grow up to be a good muslim/muslimah. There was nothing he wanted more than to have his wives and kids to obey Allah in all aspects of life.

Mekah, 2011

Ya Allah, I can't even begin to describe how I felt that night when I saw him lying there on the bed. Lifeless. I felt like a little girl then. Sitting by his deathbed. My inside was screaming. Wished with all my might that he would wake up and hug me. I just wanted to cuddle by his side, hug him and never let go. But all I could do was cried and cried and cried.

My abah. He's supposed to be our strength. Our pillar. Our support system. Our love. Our smile. Our sunshine. Our happiness. Our everything. He was there for 33 years of my life. And then suddenly he was gone. No warning. No nothing.

Allah. Allah. Allah. How do I go on without him?

No one understand how it felt like. Part of me was gone that night. Inside. Felt empty.  I still couldn't find that missing part until now. I suspect it would be gone forever. Never come back.

Life isn't the same anymore without abah. You're greatly missed. Forever will be. Until the day we unite again.

Al-fatihah untuk abah. Moga kami menjadi anak soleh yang sentiasa mendoakan kebaikan abah di alam sana. 

Ya Allah, balaslah setiap kebaikan abah walaupun sebesar zarah, dengan ehsanMu dan pahala yang berlipat kali ganda. Ameen Ya Rabb.