The thing that keeps me going!

Following my conversations with some friends, they said that they deemed me as a strong person for being able to go through this ordeal without breaking down. Truth is, I wasn't as strong as I hoped to be the moment I received the news. I did break down for a brief moment, and only managed to gather some strength as I went through some Quranic verses and hadith about 'bencana dan ujian'. They gave me the strength that I never thought I had, to stand still on my feet, and to keep the spirit alive.

 Though the pregnancy somehow went wrong, I never for one moment regretted having been given the opportunity to be pregnant although for just a short while. That's because I started to see all the hikmah in this brief opportunity.

Dan mengapa mereka tidak memikirkan tentang (kejadian) diri mereka? Allah tidak menjadikan langit dan bumi dan apa yang ada diantara keduanya melainkan dengan (tujuan) yang benar dan waktu yang ditentukan. dan Sesungguhnya kebanyakan di antara manusia benar-benar ingkar akan Pertemuan dengan Tuhannya.

                                                                        

                                                                                                                                (QS. Ar – Ruum (30)

I think some of you know that during my first pregnancy, the big guy and I lived apart from each other. One is Setapak, KL while another in Penang.  So I didn't really had an experience of having my husband around to take care of me 24-7. And deep inside, I had my doubt on the type of husband he would be having a whiny preggy wifey to tend for 24 hours a day! Tak baik kan meragui suami sendiri, but I just couldn't help it! Setan dok hasut la tu! Huhuhuhu.

But Alhamdulillah. This short pregnancy has erased all my doubt as I now know that the big guy is indeed the best husband I could ever asked for. Despite having to go to work for long hours, he still entertain all my cravings, my antiques and still found time to do household chores. For the 2 months of me being pregnant, our house would be like a ship wrecked if not for him. So again, thank you Allah for this sweet experience.

I was worried too on how clingy the little guy would get if he were to have adik, but he proved to be one little champ! While I was preggy, he really took care of me while his father was not around. Sat sat dok tanya, 'mama nak minum?. Mama nak makan biscuit? Mama nak itu ini bla bla bla?'. I have to say, a son couldn't be more helpful than he was during those time. Not once did he burden me with anything that I couldn't handle. Tapiiiiiiiiiii, dia adalah sangat memerap dengan bapak dia. The moment his father stepped into the house after work, he would start with all his absurd requests. Hahaha! Everything that he wanted and needed had to be taken care of by the father. And surprisingly, the big guy suddenly developed a high tolerance for a whiny kid during those time.

 And Alhamdulillah, among other things, I found a new gynae that I'm more comfortable with compared to my previous one. And now I know for sure where to go if I get pregnant again in the future.

Not to mention that I now have the perfect excuse to go for a short holiday too! Ngiahahahhaha!

So seriously guys, when I look back memang lah sangat banyak hikmah yang kami dapat dari ujian yang kecik ni.  :-)